"Hello. We are Binge and Purge, extraterrestrial life forms from the planet OBGYN (pronounced Ob-gin).

"On Friday and Saturday, October 8 and 9, 2010, the Jericho High School classes of 1971, 1972, 1972, and (kinda sorta) 1969, plus friends and teachers, held what is known on your planet as a high school reunion.

"Or as we call it, the prelude to an alien invasion! Awk! Awk! Awk!"

"To you, we may have seemed nothing more than cheap, plastic blow-up toys manufactured by six-year-old political prisoners in China and purchased from an online novelty store.

"In fact, we and our twenty-two brethren who  attended your 'reunion' posing as mascots are actually advance scouts for the full-scale invasion to take place on —

 "You didn't really expect us to tell you the date, did you?! Foolish Earthlings! Awk! Awk! Awk!"

"Apparently, our species' names cause great mirth on your planet: 'Manboob C-14.' 'Snot Box.' 'Etcetera.' (Not etcetera, as in 'in other words.'  Etcetera, my sister's ex-husband. We call 'im Etc. for short.) Other names, like Purge's and mine, you seem to find appalling.

 "Frankly, we don't know what you find so damn funny. But in order to blend in among your peoples in preparation for the big you-know-what, we have adopted common Earth names, taken from the old newspapers, Betamax videos, and other junk you have sent our way over the years in your interstellar satellites. Or as we call them: Space Yugos. Such primitive technology! Awk! Awk! Awk!"

"Good one, Brother Binge, good one! Accordingly, my Earth name is not Purge, but Proctor Silex. And my brother here shall be known to you as Scooby-Doo until the glorious day when we at last become your cruel overlords and masters.

"Below you'll find hundreds of photos from your reunion weekend. Or as we like to think of them: reconnaissance! Hopefully, in a few years, you can all attend our invasion-squadron reunion at Milleridge Cottage — as hors d'oeurves! What should you wear? The condiment of your choice! We're not fussy! Awk! Awk Awk!"